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The Day I got my Dolphins! by Bobby Reed (Contact info being sought)
In the beginning was the word and the word was God and all else was darkness and void without form. So God created the heavens and the earth. He created the sun and the moon and the stars so that the light might pierce the darkness. And the earth God divided between the land and the sea and these He filled with many assorted creatures.
And the dark smelly creatures that inhabited the land, God called ARMY and dressed them accordingly like trees and bushes. And the flighty creatures of , He called them AIR FORCE and these He clothed in uniforms of light blue to match the sky, and the creatures who sailed on the surface of the sea, God called Skimmers.
Then with a twinkle in His eye and a sense of humor that only He could have, God gave them big gray targets to sail on. He gave them many splendid uniforms to wear. He gave them many wonderful and exotic places to visit. He gave them pen and paper so they could write home every week. He gave them afternoons off, movies and ice cream makers and he gave them a laundry to keep their splendid uniforms clean. When you are God, you tend to get carried away.
And on the 7th day, God rested. On the 8th day at 0600, God looked down on the earth an He was not happy. So He thought about His labors and in His infinite wisdom, God created a divine Creature which He called a Submariner.
And the SUBMARINERS that He created in His image were to be of the deep, and to them He gave the Dolphin Insignia. He gave them black messengers of death to roam the depths of the seas, waging war against the forces of Satan and evil. He gave them submarine pay so they might entertain the ladies on Saturday nights and to impress the hell out of the SKIMMERS.
And at the end of the end of the 8th day, God looked down on the earth and saw that all was good , but still God was not happy. In the course of His labors He had forgotten one thing. He himself did not have a submariner's dolphin. He thought about it and He thought about it and finally satisfied Himself, Knowing that not .anybody could be a SUBMARINER.